


withdrawal symptoms

by kozume



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, look at all this fluff, this fic is practically a sheep
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-01
Updated: 2015-03-01
Packaged: 2018-03-15 17:42:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,678
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3456053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kozume/pseuds/kozume
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p></p><blockquote>
  <p>“the unpleasant physical reaction that accompanies the process of ceasing to take an addictive drug.” it starts in the tips of his fingers.</p>
</blockquote>
            </blockquote>





	withdrawal symptoms

**Author's Note:**

> I'M HOOKED ON A FEELING  
> HIGH ON BELIEVING  
> THAT YOU'RE IN LOVE WITH ME
> 
> i'm finishing off fics that have been sat in my lil haikyuu!! folder for ages here u go fluff !!

 i.

 

Hinata has been gone for four days when it starts, a seemingly ceaseless itching at the tips of Kageyama’s fingers. He tries tapping them against desktops, grazing them against walls as he walks, fiddling with pens and pencils and buttons and zippers and the hem of his shirt. None of it works. It drives him mad, and renders him useless in class and conversation, but it fades during practice, the only time it counts, when the ball is feather light against his fingertips before he gets it where it needs to go. The itching becomes a buzzing of excitement, a thrumming in his veins as he hears Asahi or Tanaka’s palm connect and send the ball blazing across the net. But it’s short lived. The excitement fades quickly and he is left waiting for his next dose while the team carries on around him. Tanaka’s whooping and Nishinoya’s praise and Asahi’s embarrassed half garbled acceptance of the latter. They become background noise as he stands poised and waiting, and he jumps when coach yells for them to get back into formation. It takes two more days of disassociated volleyball for him to realize that, for whatever reason, Hinata’s absence makes practice seem longer. Without his relentless enthusiasm and constant vocal amazement at his own actions to punctuate the hours, Kageyama feels a little lost. In fact he feels rather lost in general.

 ii.

By day nine, he’s struggling with an ache in the hollow of his chest. He hasn’t felt truly lonely for months, not since the day his team abandoned him on an open court with hundreds of people watching. Not since it was made perfectly clear that nobody was going to see if he was okay because nobody really cared. Without Hinata there he realizes just how much time they spend together. That they’re virtually inseparable during practice, that they eat together during lunch, that they walk home together and Hinata bombards him with messages the minute they separate. While he still has the rest of the team, it’s different without Hinata there. He feels far more exposed, and the realization that, for the last few months, Hinata has been there to steal the spotlight and as a result he’s become almost comfortable living in the boys shadow, shocks him. Despite their arguing and seemingly hostile attitudes towards each other, Kageyama must admit that out of the entire team, Hinata is the one he’s most comfortable around. It feels a little bit like entering a room of strangers when he arrives at practice. Without Hinata bounding around the gym, flailing and falling and crowing about something or other, Kageyama receives far more attention, true honest to god undivided attention, than he ever remembers being given before. It makes him stutter and flush, and Tsukishima is laughing at him from the other side of the gym which makes him even more embarrassed, and Daichi takes pity on him, letting him escape to take his place on the court. When he finally gets his hands on the ball, even though it’s been over a week, his initial reaction is to seek out Hinata, to lock onto him, to calculate just what he needs to do to make this work. His absence seems to hit him harder than it did before and it makes him falter. For the first time since joining Karasuno, he drops the ball. The gym is silent and he can feel all eyes on him. He opens his mouth to apologize, to explain, but Sugawara cuts him off. His gaze is kind and level and understanding through the mesh of the net.

“It’s okay, Kageyama,” he says quietly, as if it’s meant for only him to hear. “It’s weird without Hinata here, right?”

Kageyama opens his mouth to protest, to ask him just what he means, but the words die on his lips as Sugawara backs away, and a calm settles into his bones. He doesn’t really want to know why the fact that other people are missing Hinata too makes him feel better, to be honest, but it does. He doesn’t drop the ball again.

iii. 

Hinata was only supposed to be gone for two weeks, but it’s been nearly three with no explanation and Kageyama is too jittery for words. Every morning he asks the head of year where Hinata is, and every morning she says that she can’t disclose other pupil’s personal information. The look she gives him is pitying and he hates it. The rest of the team is anxious as well, but it doesn’t render them near useless the way it does with Kageyama. It’s like there’s a black hole where Hinata should be and it sucks all of his attention away from whatever’s happening in class or on the court, and he just wants the idiot to come home so everything can go back to whatever it was before, because he’s realising now that it wasn’t as normal as he’d thought it was. They appear to have become quite co-dependent, or at least Kageyama seems to be quite dependant on Hinata. He gives a short growl as he smacks the ball and sends it flying across the net, missing the bottle by a few centimetres. Someone yells a few words of encouragement as he stalks across the gym to collect it and he gives a short nod in their general direction. He just wants practice to be over and done with. He wants to run home and sulk in his room and… and what? Text Hinata? Call him? Go to his house and see if he’s home? He snorts and shakes his head, looks around to see if anyone’s free to practice. In hindsight maybe he should have utilised this time better, gotten friendlier with the rest of his team, made some more friends. He spends the rest of practice awkwardly trying to perfect his tosses to Asahi and getting tips from Sugawara on how to synchronise himself. Assimilate, or something like that.

The walk home is strange without Hinata. He thought he’d sprint it, get it over and done with. Instead he finds himself flagging, taking his time and paying attention to things along the path that he wouldn’t usually notice. Things like side paths and cracks in the pavement and odd decorations in people’s front gardens. He breaks into a run when he gets to the end of his street, because Hinata’s bike is attached to the lamppost in front of his house. His heart’s in his throat as he bursts through the front door, kicking his shoes off. He only half hearts his mum say that there’s a friend waiting for him in his room before he’s scrabbling up the stairs and near tripping over himself as he opens his bedroom door. Hinata’s lying on his bed, playing catch with himself, and he sits up when Kageyama opens the door, a grin on his face.

“Kageyama! Hey! Sorry I wasn’t in school I-”

“Where were you?” Kageyama snatches the ball off of him, and he’s holding it so tightly he thinks it might burst. “You were only supposed to be gone for two weeks and it’s been nearly three and the school wouldn’t tell me why you weren’t back and-”

“My aunt got sick!” He sits up on his knees, crossing his arms over his front. He looks indignant and adorable, and Kageyama’s glad he keeps his nails short because if he didn’t the volleyball wouldn’t stand a chance. “My mum wanted to stay and make sure she was better before we came back ‘cause it was Natsu that gave her the flu.”

“Why didn’t you call or text?”

He looks sheepish, and Kageyama instantly knows that it’s going to be a really stupid explanation.

“I forgot my phone charger and didn’t want to buy a new one,” he gives Kageyama his best angelic grin, “why, did you miss me?”

Kageyama opens his mouth to say he didn’t, not one bit, but he can feel himself blushing and he hates himself.

“You did, didn’t you!” Hinata sounds awed, “Kageyama you’re not heartless after all!”

“Shut up, dumbass!” Kageyama drops the ball and shoves him, but Hinata’s got a good grip on his shirt sleeves and he topples over with him, taking advantage of the momentum so Kageyama winds up underneath him, wrists pinned to the mattress either side of his head, Hinata straddling his hips.

“Admit it,” Hinata says smugly, wriggling a little to get comfy, “admit that you missed me.”

Kageyama steels himself, swallows his pride, and mumbles out a rather scratchy, “I missed you.”

Hinata seems a little dumbfounded at that, stares at him, blinking, “Really?”

“Yes, really! You seemed pretty convinced of it earlier so I don’t get why you look so surprised now! And I’ve said it, so will you please get off me?”

Hinata’s eyes look suspiciously glassy, and he’s sniffling a little, and Kageyama’s horrified as Hinata lets out a short wail and throws himself at Kageyama, winding his arms around his neck and burying his face in Kageyama’s shirt. “I’m sorry, Kageyama! The drive back was really really long and I’m super tired but I didn’t want to go to sleep before I let you knew I was back and if I get gross stuff on your shirt I’ll ask my mum to wash it! But I’m just really glad you missed me!”

“We all missed you, you idiot,” he means for it to come out a lot harsher than it does, and he finds him arms winding around Hinata’s small frame, “but I think I might have missed you more than the rest of them.”

Kageyama doubts he’ll ever tell Hinata just how much he missed him, how empty everything felt without him there. And he sure as hell won’t tell him that when he wakes up in the morning and he’s asleep next to him that he can’t remember what the loneliness felt like, or the itching in his fingertips or the ache in his chest.

 

**Author's Note:**

> i hope u enjoyed!! plz leave kudos or comments they are much appreciated.  
> twitter: oikiwa  
> tumblr: deityirl


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